First Steps Towards Hope - Part 3

Ignoring the Problem

Lina began to realize that something was wrong in her life. However, this acknowledgment didn't come easily. For a long time, she tried to turn a blind eye to the deepening issues, hoping that all her negative feelings would just disappear on their own. Every time feelings of depression and despair emerged, Lina tried to ignore them, thinking that she just needed to work harder or get more rest to overcome her emotions.

Lina assumed that the anxiety and sadness she felt were the results of temporary stress and not something serious. She often blamed her demanding job and many responsibilities as the main causes. She thought that, if she could manage her stress and workload better, all of this would come to an end. In her efforts to stay productive and prove that she could handle everything, Lina often ignored the warning signs from her own body and mind.

She tried various ways to distract herself from the painful feelings. Lina started getting involved in new projects at work and planning additional social activities, hoping that staying busy would help her forget the problems she was facing. However, although she managed to distract herself for a while, the underlying issues didn't go away. In fact, adding more burdens and responsibilities only made things worse, leaving her more stressed and exhausted.

At home, Lina worked hard to appear as though everything were fine. She kept her house clean and organized, hoping that a structured routine would help her feel better. She kept herself busy with various household chores, like cleaning and decorating, but all of this only distracted her from the real problem. Even though she often felt that doing something could give her a sense of accomplishment, in reality, the emptiness and hollowness remained within her.

One evening, Lina attended a social gathering hosted by a friend. Although she didn't feel like going, she felt pressured to attend to maintain a good image in front of others. During the event, Lina forced herself to smile and participate in conversations, but she felt disconnected from her surroundings. Although her friends spoke warmly and attentively, Lina felt out of place and awkward. She felt like she had to play a role that had been assigned to her, which only added to her sense of pressure.

At work, although Lina appeared busy and productive, she often felt inadequate and like a failure. She faced great challenges in maintaining the quality of her work and meeting high expectations. Every time she made a mistake, no matter how small, Lina felt extremely guilty and helpless. She tried to overcome these problems by working even harder, but this only added to the stress and fatigue she was already experiencing. She felt that, no matter how hard she tried, she was never good enough.

In her attempt to cope with her problems, Lina often procrastinated seeking professional help. She felt that acknowledging her mental health issues was a sign of weakness. She felt ashamed and reluctant to talk about it with others, fearing that she would be seen as incompetent or unreliable. This made her feel increasingly isolated and made it difficult to seek the support she needed. Lina often thought that she should be able to handle everything on her own, which added to the burden and only made her situation worse.

Lina also struggled to talk about her feelings with family or close friends. She worried that they wouldn't understand or would dismiss what she was feeling. When those close to her asked how she was, Lina often responded with brief and dishonest answers like, "I'm fine" or "Just a little tired." She felt that opening up about her difficulties would burden or worry others, adding to the sense of responsibility she already felt.

Lina's reluctance to acknowledge her problems was also reflected in how she dealt with increasingly disturbing physical symptoms. Headaches, muscle pain, and sleep issues were considered common or side effects of a busy life. Lina often delayed seeking medical help, thinking that all of this would get better on its own. She felt that going to a doctor or therapist was a sign of her inability to deal with her problems, making her even more hesitant to seek help.

In the lonely moments of the night, Lina often reflected on her life and felt increasingly trapped in a cycle of despair. She felt that all her efforts to deal with her problems on her own were futile and only made her feelings worse. This despair deepened, and Lina felt that she didn't know how to get out of the worsening situation.

Although Lina knew that something was wrong, she often tried to convince herself that everything would get better on its own. She felt that if she could keep working hard and stay positive, all her problems would disappear. However, the reality was that the underlying issues were deepening, and Lina felt increasingly pressured. These feelings continued to erode Lina's confidence and happiness, making her feel more alienated and powerless.

Despite all her efforts to ignore the deepening problems, Lina felt increasingly pressured, and her despair worsened. She felt that all her attempts to overcome her negative feelings were in vain and only made things worse. Lina felt trapped in a cycle of despair that seemed to have no end, and she didn't know how to continue her struggle.