Run…run …run…
Gonna runaway, gonna runaway… Yea this words damn suck. It is a shortcut, such a flirt solution to end up all myproblem, to end up all my complicated thinking. Go runaway, hide in nowhere, someplace faraway, someplace that unreachable by some people who only judge me, judge me…as a book by it’s cover.
Several days ago, I’ve talked about‘Go home with status single in Aidil Fitri’ and got a final decision it doesn’t matter. I’m 24 years old, I’m single and I’m happy. Then now…. I don’t think so… This words creeping my blood, first in my foot, choke my neck then end in my mind, silently killing me.
My parent never do this to me, they never blame me for being single until 24 years old. But somepeople who just sit in my family line, a long line I thought, blaming me like single in me is a disgrace for them, like single in me is a plague for them, single in meis a mistake that I’ve made.
All of you made me thought that I’ve choose a big mistake. Anyone of you, just hear that. “I never choose that way. I just live my life in my destiny, andIf I gotta choose, I wanna choose being like you with marriage status and children among your hands”
Being childish like human fate that always sigh about this life, I make some sad shout in facebook. Then…one of my friend post a comment “May be they just care about you and don’t wanna blame you with their words”. Like a mount climber that aware about astray, then I take an action “STOP”, Sit Think Observe Plan. Sit, yea..i sit to hypnotize myself by counting one, two, three..until I get back myself in calm. Think, like a wise words that myfriend post, may be it is true, they care about me so it is better if I say thanks to them. Observe, yea…observe all around me in wide range, I got I’m not alone, there are some people just like me, being single in the same age range. Plan, may be I must made a plan like….built a mature character in my life, change my behavior that too boyish being more girly, andalways positive thinking about God’s plan, may be It is more beautiful than I ever see.
Now…just mocking me, just judge me, just blame me about my big mistake…yea… just do what wanna you do to me. I’ll smile for you like this :-) . I wanna say thanks. I’ll switch your words in a white magic become a care, an attention, a spirit and best wishes in the strength of positive thinking.
:-)
Is it a way to cheer up my mind??
May be