Why Are We As We Are?

Family has such a big impact on each one of us. They taught us everything from how we communicate to other people to how we view the world in our eyes based on them. Just like what Samovar said in their book. Each family in the world have their own culture that they passed on from generation to generation, just like any culture that still lives on right now in the world. But just like culture that we see now, it's not the same if we look a hundred years ago. Because of time, the culture inside of our family change. More and more, "traditional" family are hardly noticed now in this modern time. So, that's why I asked my mother what culture values did she learn from her elderly and which culture values did she kept and passed down to me and why.

"The family is most instrumental in the early stages of the socialization process that establishes a child's personal identity." (Samovar et al., 2016).

From this interview I learnt many things about the culture values that I have right now. A lot of the things that my mother learnt from her parents are based on Javanese culture, which I think about it, it makes sense. She lived in a small town in the middle of Central Java in the 70s, 80, and 90s. which I think at that time the Indonesian culture is still very thriving amongst people. Just like any other Asian culture, she was though to be respectful to elders; offer them help when they're working, give notice when you leave the house and when you arrive, don't talk back, etc. it's not only to elders but also to other people too.

 An example is to excuse ourselves when we pass someone in front of them, announce or offer other people to eat before eating, speak in a soft language. Back then her parents though her a soft Javanese language and also a traditional Javanese dance. Another thing that I fin interesting is that in Javanese culture there's a string gender role that people like to put, men do the hard rough work while women do the household work. Yet, her parents also thought her the importance of sharing task or responsibility. As people know Indonesia is also a very religious country and that also speak to my mother and her family. She lived in a religious household and I was also brought up in a religious uphold.

From what my mother share of the culture values that she learnt; I also recognize a lot of them. Even though I grew up in a big city I was still though about the Javanese manners, like respecting elders, being polite, wear modest clothes, etc. The unique thing that my mother never really passed to me was teaching me to communicate in Javanese language and learn Javanese traditional dance. She said that when it comes to the Javanese language, she thought that it won't be useful to me and my sister. While for the Javanese traditional dance, it turns out that we weren't interested learning it so my mother never pushed me to do it.

Without me noticing I do a lot of these things on a daily bases, just because I was though at a young age how I should behave in front of others and how I should be. My family though me the understanding of self and others, interpersonal communication proficiency, concern, respect, and sincerity, conformity and independence, the roles of gender and elderly, age-appropriate behavior and humiliation and betrayal due to cultural changes (Samovar et al., 2016).  All of that are a part of me now just like what my mother was thought through her parents about the cultural values of our life.

References

Samovar, L. A., Porter, R. E., McDaniel, E. R., & Roy, C. S. (2016). Communication Between Cultures. Cengage Learning.