The Remarriage Cycle: Divorced, Multi-Nuclear and Recoupled Families

8.When problems involve child-focused uproar, put the child's original parent in charge tem- porarily. When the uproar subsides, coach the parent on ways to "move over" and include his or her spouse in the system-first, as a spouse only. Warn the family that the shift to active stepparenting usually takes several years and will require the active support of the biological parent. In the case of older adoles- cents, it may be unrealistic to expect the shift ever to occur to any great degree.

9.Work to get parents to define predictable and adequate plans for visitation and to keep up relationships with the ex-spouse's extended family, and beware of the possible "hidden agenda" in any sudden proposals to rearrange custody, visitation, or financial arrangements.

10.Include work on the spouses' families of origin as early in treatment as possible.