Uhm, hello?
I know our relationship lately is terrible since my boyfriend moved there. Admit it, he’s the main factor. I don’t know what happened between both of you and I see that I am considered to have no rights to know.
Anyway, since you always ignore me on the messenger and the social sites and the phone and also the fact that I can’t possibly go there because of my studies here. I write this e-mail.
I was mad, terribly mad and frustrated. Both of you said nothing and kept avoiding having a nice conversation with me meanwhile I found out a lot of hurting facts. Oh yes, I was hurt. From my point of view, I was the only one being hurt. My boyfriend suddenly changed into a stranger, or perhaps even a jerk and my old friend betrayed me. I wished one of you spoke and changed a little bit of my mind, but you never did. And therefore my mind and my curiosity and your silence and my loneliness tortured me for the whole month.
It’s been a month, can you believe it?
To be honest, I think one of the biggest reasons I got very angry is because I don’t want to admit that I lost. He told me once that he had a few things bothering his mind, and he chose you more on his hard times, instead of me –whom is his actual ‘companion’-. And more than that, he put you above everything. Should I say, lucky you or pity me?
Anyway, I had this mixed terrible feelings of hurt and desperate etc because I thought that ONLY me who was hurt. But when I came to think of it, perhaps you were hurt too. I don’t know how he treat you –but surely won’t be as terrible as he treats me recently- or talk to you about this problem –or he never did?- and I don’t want to imagine more about it –it still hurt, hehe- so I don’t count it in. Sadly, it’s a definite that I was the one hurting you. You know, the sarcastic jokes and cruel statuses and comments on the social sites, and also bad things I said on the messenger and text messages. I read them again –and wow- they were awful.
And so, the main point is that I want to apologize to you.
Sorry for the sarcastic statuses and comments, awful words I said on the messenger and text messages and also bad thoughts about you. I’m deeply sorry.
I don’t say sorry in order to make you ‘return’ my boyfriend or to be seen as a good girl or something. I just wanna say it to free myself. I wanna forgive myself by forgiving you, and him.
My boyfriend could be a total jerk, but that doesn’t mean I have to become one too. I don’t want to be a hypocrite; acting nicely in front of my boyfriend –oh yes, I still do. Don’t ask me why because I have no idea too- but being such an evil in front of you.
Oh I just miss our peaceful days.
This is really hard for me, but now I have enough courage to say; I’m ready. For anything will happen between us three –I only think of one condition to be prepared, actually, you may guess which one- I will accept in sincerity.
People won’t call it ‘fall in love’ if it’s already planned before, right? It could be anybody in any occasion. I’m sorry to realize it very late; that you too have a heart. But I hope this e-mail can help a little.
And so is my short e-mail will end. Thank you for reading it.
I wish you Good Luck, I really do. Have a nice day.
