This Is How I Miss My Sophomore Year

I’m famine of beauty. I always am. I have great taste for colors and I get it over retail therapy. Aesthetic pleasures. I love the warm colors as much as I love the shades of lipstick colors, especially the matte ones.

Every object is beauty. Living organisms and the world to live in. This moment I’m surfing on the internet about a 1966 movie called Daisies to track a credible source for my download,just because I found a botanical –decorated room after stalking on a moodboard post by home and beddings account on instagram.

This recent weeks I’ve been saving money for buying flowers, just to pleasure myself, which is a sad fact because it’s always been the very last ten thousand rupiahs in my wallet which leave me little confusion and zero rupiahs to keep on living for the next few minutes and hours. But it’s alright. In the same shop, which is pretty exclusive one, I always buy hydrangeas, not the other flower because one, it is the first flowers which caught my attention in the etalage which is pretty convincing cost much cheaper than the imported roses and, two, it’s plenty. I mean, you can have a lot of petals in one flowers (I do not know precisely the term in it in biology but yeah..you should check out the flower itself) and absolutely, you won’t be bored to stare it. What a pretty thing to have on my desk.

But you know, other than flowers and pinky stuffs there’s always an abstract feeling I found unique. It’s beautiful, how you really experience your body makes you pinkish too. It rushes the bloodstreams, it activates the adrenaline. I felt that once hard, oh no, several times. The same thing I share to people.

I still can feel the love from people back then, good old times, I miss it very much. You know I just wanna kiss them one by one on the cheek, turn myself from a daily-sleepless monster into a candy princess and being sweet all day although it’s not like a usual me. Because yeah, I hope I had this chance to spend a warm day with people and tell me not to leave, because I experienced how horrible is it seeing the same living person that used to be loving but turned complicatedly different by now and yeah…the senior year, a.k.a the best time of life (cheers) will end very soon and that means the big test is waiting in the next 30 days. Quality time becomes forgettable, otherwise people are trying to create a chemical bond with the books. Yeah, books. Me too, I’m not being hypocrite.

BUT I MISS THAT CHEMICAL BOND WITH HUMANS SO YEAH SERIOUSLY, I APPRECIATE THE FOUNDER OF ALGEBRA BUT THE SUBJECTS JUST LOOK LIKE SHITS THEY CALLED IMPORTANT AND SHOULD BE WORK ON RIGHT NOW. Sorry, sorry, this is me being me….the previous paragraphs have been written neat and polite, eh? Hahaha.

So, past bestfriends just turned into ‘say hi and goodbye’ ones. I know, probably they still recognize me as their close ones too but, it just surprises me how time and routine makes people apart. And dreams that is meant to be lived makes people running and rushing and maintaining their life pace and their daily dosage of vitamins and so on. To be honest I prefer natural metabolism booster called ‘hug’ and ‘laughter’ so much… it makes me desperately had no choice other than letting Disney clowns get into my house to get one. LOL no, Ugh, I mean, real ones. Real people I know deeply.

Oh I know, I know I went on the same track too. But this moment, it is a beautiful ache too I wanna tell to people around me : Hey hey, you stop. Look at me. Where is the love?

Oh how much I pray for them for the success. Eventho I might looked like a careless one, because that ‘say hi and goodbye thing.’

So yeah, dear people, I miss you. I miss you so much. I’m now waiting for the good news because probably the time we can have the real talk is the deep conversation after all the exams are over, yeah? After chasing dreams are become fulfilling and you feel contained?

So here. Here’s a virtual hug from where I am sitting now, in front of the PC, typing some of nonsense and make it public just because maybe some of you would visit my blog and have it read.

Just eat a lot of fruit and don’t catch a cold okay?

Kisses!