Living Through Loss: My Journey of Accepting Grief

One year has passed since my father passed away. He died of cardiomegaly, a heart condition he suffered from. I still remember the day he left us. 3 am. At the hospital. I didn't cry. Just my heart felt empty. My tears didn't come. But deep inside, it felt like I wanted to run to the highway and hope a car would hit me.

A week later, the sadness hit me like a wave. I cried every single day until my chest ached. My sleep schedule became a mess. I even consulted a psychiatrist, hoping this pain would heal. I lost all motivation to finish my studies. I hated passing by the hospital road where my father took his last breath.

I remember one moment during my grief. I went to my favorite cafe alone, my eyes swollen from crying. When my usual green tea cream frappucino arrived, I noticed something on the napkin the barista gave me. It said, "It will pass." 

Now, I understand that when we're forced to face loss and move on, it's painful. It's exhausting. It's dissapointing. At times, we even wish it's just a bad dream. We ask questions like, "Why did this happen?" or, "What if...?" these thoughts consume us and make us forget that everything happens for a reason --- a reason only God knows. And maybe, just maybe, it's meant to make us stronger than before.

We must remember that time keeps moving forward, and life doesn't stop. As I write this today, I realize I've started to make peace with my grief. I've learned to move forward. I've graduated from college with cum laude honors. I've found the courage to pass by the hospital road where my father passed away. I didn't give up.

So, if you're reading this and grieving the loss of someone dear to you, I want to tell you this: it's okay to cry. It's okay to take a break. But promise yourself to keep going.

Because isn't that what life is all about? Teaching us the meaning of "falling down so we can rise again."

Keep going.