I miss you sometimes.
It isn't often. But it is strong enough to break my own heart.
Seeing you online, reading the notice when you were last active. I hope you're getting some rest. I hope you've eaten.
I guess there's nothing more soothing than reading some old messages from you. Remembering the ones who 'did', though they don't 'still do'.
Sometimes I thought I'd say hello to you. Starting conversation with regular questions like how you're doing, to personal question like how your father is now. But I pulled back because I was afraid to bother you.
I'm quite worried, but there's not much I can do. I know you're busy, until I decided to delete a few words I wrote to you:
I miss you
I miss yo
I miss y
I miss
I mis
I mi
I m
I
(*)
Saya merindukanmu kadang-kadang.
Tidak terlalu sering, tapi cukup untuk mematahkan hati saya sendiri.
Melihat kamu online, membaca pemberitahuan kapan terakhir kali kamu aktif. Saya berharap semoga kamu sudah istirahat. Semoga kamu sudah makan.
Saya kira tidak ada hal lain yang lebih menenangkan ketimbang membaca pesan-pesan lama darimu. Mengenang yang 'pernah', meskipun tidak 'masih'.
Sesekali saya berpikir untuk menyapamu. Memulai percakapan dengan pertanyaan biasa seperti apa kabar, hingga hal personal terkait bagaimana keadaan ayahmu sekarang. Tapi saya urungkan lagi karena saya takut menganggumu.