Assalamualaikum Wr.Wb Saturday nite.Cold.Cold.
I’ve just had a nice discussion with one female friend. Both of us have our own ideal type of woman. ..
She even stated, “Wah, dasar emak-emak...” We both were laughing together. Smile.Smile.Smile
That happens because I’d just stated that we should teach our future kids(future, not now, hehhe) with a new way. I mean, today, we face a harmful habit for teenager like having free sex, trying narcotics and smoking. We can’t run. We face it. And it’s bad for kids in the future. Really bad...
And I wanna be a strong and supportive woman. A good woman for my last man. A woman who will support him. Give him critics. Debate. State my own opinion. Give him much information. State what I like and dislike. I like a man who can be his leader for his own family and friends. A true man with ambition, passion and affection. A man who states something directly. A man who says the truth. A man who accomplish everything for me, us and our family. A man who will devote himself for kindness. A best imam,someone who loves Islam, ALLAH SWT and Prophet Muhammad. The most important thing is he is the man who loves me just the way I am. He is the man who loves my weakness and imperfection. The man who appreciates all things I do, say and choose. Moreover, woman is not baby maker.Woman is not reproduction machine. Although I understand that woman is the shadow of her last man. Woman is one step at the back of her last man.
This is the theme we both wanna be: a great woman for a great man...
Both of us have just stated what kind of woman we wanna be someday. She stated to me that I have to see Aisyah, wife of Prophet Muhammad SAW. I understand. What really impress me is the teaching pattern she wanna make someday. She wanna make it better. I don’t exactly understand what she stated, but for me, it’s a good thing. She wants to teach her future kids with a new teaching method at home. Then, she wanna be a good moslemah. I do agree. We have to teach with a new teaching method. It’s a modern era. Bad habit for teenager is everywhere.
In Indonesia, narcotics are prohibited. It’s just for medicine. It’s not allowed for individual consumption. Well, in Netherland or other countries,especially in Europe and The United States of America, they are allowed as long as you’re adult. I don’t know exactly the exact age when teenagers are allowed to consume there. And you can buy them in some night clubs. In Indonesia, we have difficulties to handle these cases. Teenagers consume those drugs. They have bad impact for young generation. It has several impact as giving stimulation. You feel more happiness eventhough you’re not happy. You feel so passionate to do something. That’s why dopping is sometimes consumed by some athletes. Dopping is prohibited here, by the way. It will break your immune system.Drugs, I mean narcotics, are dangerous for your health.Only certain drugs are allowed for us.It's just for medicine.And the doctor who gives us the prescription.
Then, let’s see cigarettes. Cigarettes are bad for your lungs. That’s why I dislike man who has smoking habit, even he’s my father. I am a good example as a daughter who always states bad impact of smoking to my father. He was so stubborn at that time. Now? I’m the agent who makes a change. He stop smoking because of having unifinished debate about bad impact of cigarettes.I’m sure that I won’t allow any pack of cigarettes at my home and bedroom of my kids. Then, let’s see how free sex happens. Just take it simple. Free sex before marriage in Islam is not allowed. Then, it will make you more risk in having sexual transmitted diseases(STDs) as AIDS/HIV, gonorrhea, sifilis and so on. Let them know. And ask them to talk heart to heart about this. Your children will grow. She/he will know more about reproduction and sexual things. Just talk. Be a great woman. Listen. Talk. Command. State your argument.
The most important thing right now is to be a great listener. You have to be a woman who loves listening all things your man or your children talk. Just listen. And give feedback. Give response. Be a communicative woman. Just don’t be an ancient woman coming from the middle age, hahahha. You have chatting application. You have sophisticated cellphone. Send messages or chats with your children. As my mom and I does everyday, we chat via BBM. My best suggestion for all woman is to be uptodate with news, trends and technology. The more you know, the more you can talk to your kids. Sometimes, it’s important to be ‘Ibu yang gaul’.
Be a good leader for yourself and your children. And ask them to give you critics. You’re not perfect. You have weakness. Let them to fix all your fault. Just tell them what kind of woman or man you met long years ago. Sometimes, talk about your past or the way you and your last man met is a great story for them. Let them hear what you say. As a woman, just ask them to do and say what is right. They have to hold their own value. I mean, ‘Menjadi seseorang yang berprinsip dan berpendirian teguh’...
When they see a lot of options, tell them what you think. Let them to choose one of them. Give your suggestion and opinion. Let them be a person they want. Just make sure that they have good education and good understanding about Islam. Be a friend of your children. Be a boss for your children. When they grow up, give them space with their friends or probably boyfriend or girlfriend. Let them to chill out as younger generation. Just be a guardian angel. Be a watchdog. Every woman has their own definition and implementation of loving their kids or man. That’s why man is in love with us, woman. And I’m sure one thing that all parents love their children even when they are angry. They just wanna give the best thing for their children. Now, I understand that. At the same time, in this modern era, woman should adapt with complex situation from free sex, narcotics, drugs, night club, party, cigarettes, night club and so on...
The first and foremost foundation you have to build is his or her religion. Don’t force them to read Al Quran, Hadits and so on. Just let them do it. Let them grow up with deep understanding of Islam. Second thing you have to build is his or her good character. So, let them communicate with others. Give them good education. Let them know foreign culture. Just support them whatever marks they have. Make sure that you’ve to support them in school(extracurricular, lessons, friendship) until university. Give them space to see thierselves. Teach them how to be patient and smart. The reality they face someday in his/her era is more difficult than our era. So, let them choose. Be his/her best friend. As a woman, just understand that sometimes they wanna be somebody they wanna be. They are not our robots who will do all things parents want.
Woman always knows how to love her last man and her child(children). That’s what I get from my mom. That’s my interesting discussion with one female friend.Just love them...
In the end, when my female friend asks me,who is that last man in your head? I simply laughing.Nobody knows how long our love journey is. And I don’t wanna somebody in this earth force me to love one man I don wanna love.Both of us have our own answers. And our heart feels. ALLAH SWT will have that grand plan. We both don’t know yet, but we don wanna expect more.Just let the destiny talk. At least, both of us have our own theme and definition of how to be a great woman someday. We just accept the reality. And I know exactly that having children is a good investment for you as parents, family and country.Hard task for parents, I think, is to make sure that children have all material and nonmaterial resources to face future. To be adult. Human with purpose. Human with value, norms and principles of life...That's really hard actually.Someday,all of us as parents will die. They will face the world without us, his/her parents.So, for all people who will get married, just prepare for this. Be a great woman. Be a great woman. Be a great woman!