Envy within me is what I found this morning. I woke up this morning and decided to go to the library, to work on my thesis. Well, recently I just uninstall social media apps, like Instagram, TikTok, etc. I did it because I don't want to spend my time on that a lot, so I can focus on my responsibilities. But suddenly I need to check an Instagram account, so I open the web on my laptop. After I finished what I'm searching for, I'm tempted to open the story. And then I start open one by one until I saw something that spontaneously hurts me. I saw my friends just finished their defense. I'm just like, what? really? I felt upset at the moment. I got jealous for sure.
Actually, a lot of my friends have passed their defense, and they are about to attend the graduation ceremony at the end of this month. And I'm fine with that because I believe I have a perfect time. That's what I put on my mind. Just trying to be positive and grateful for everything I have.
But what makes me feel upset was, that my friends are the same as me, last year we were in the same class, and they took retakes. I compared myself with them. Well, I have a bad experience working together with them while we were having projects at the time, and I don't like their response, and initiatives, acting as if nothing happened, until last year I still heard that their habit is still the same. You know, it sucks, and I hate it for sure. It was a long ago but still remains. What I mean is, it's just not fair that they're having good opportunities. I'm jealous of it. Why they are lucky, why, why, and why.
But suddenly, I realize that I'm arrogant. I had underestimated them and felt I should have deserved more for the hard work I put in. I'm speechless and felt l want to cry. Thank God, that He reminds me and rebuked me, for not comparing myself with others and underestimating people. I'm acting like I know them so well, but the fact is I know nothing about them. I just hurt my feelings, phew.
Well, congratulations to them! Yay!
Every day is learning! Have a great evening :)
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