Recently, there was a case of beating of a koas doctor caused by a fight over the duty schedule during Christmas and New Year's Eve. The koas doctor who was beaten was named Luthfi, while the koas doctor who fussed over the duty schedule was named Lady. Initially, Lady's mother requested a discussion with Luthfi. However, Lady's mother felt that Luthfi did not respect her decision, which provoked the emotions of Fadilla (Lady's mother's driver). Fadilla physically abused Luthfi, causing injuries and trauma. Now, are you wondering what could have made Fadilla so easily angered and without thinking, physically abused Luthfi? This can be caused by low emotional intelligence, so Fadilla does not have good control in managing her emotions. So, what is emotional intelligence? Chen, Peng, and Feng (2023) state that emotional intelligence is the ability of individuals to understand their own and other people's feelings appropriately. Emotional intelligence is a measurement tool that shows the extent to which individuals have the ability to think logically to solve problems and interact with others (Esnaola, Revuelta, Ros, & Sarasa, 2017). Emotional intelligence can be influenced by several factors, including parenting. Pujiyanti (2010) stated that parenting is a technique of regulating the characteristics carried out by parents as a manifestation of responsibility in the formation of the child.
Colson, A. (2021) states that parenting patterns have several types, including authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting, neglectful parenting and authoritative parenting.
1. Authoritarian Parenting: A parenting pattern with high demands and low concern. It emphasizes strict discipline, high control, and one-way communication from parent to child. Parents strongly dictate their children's lives and tend to show less warmth and focus more on rules. Authoritarian parenting patterns have an impact on the formation of children's character who have a high level of compliance, lacking skills in making decisions because parents do not provide opportunities for them to learn to make choices. In addition, the lack of communication in this parenting pattern makes children feel insecure and uncomfortable to express their emotions.
2. Permissive Parenting: The opposite of authoritarian parenting, this is parenting with excessive freedom without clear rules or boundaries and tends to have high responsiveness but low demands. Parents with permissive parenting are often too tolerant and inconsistent in disciplining their children. The impact of permissive parenting is that it results in children having difficulty in expressing their emotions, developing self-discipline, and understanding others.
3. Neglectful Parenting: This type of parenting is called neglectful parenting, where parents let go of their child's life and do not provide enough guidance so that the child does not feel close to the parents emotionally. Neglectful parenting has a more serious impact, namely neglected children often feel unloved and underappreciated so that these feelings can interfere with their emotional development and lack of trust in others. They also tend to experience higher levels of stress and anxiety and have poor social skills due to lack of guidance and positive interactions with parents.
4. Authoritative Parenting: Authoritative parenting is parenting with a combination of support and clear boundaries. Authoritative parenting is usually characterized by setting clear rules and expectations and also being responsive to the child's needs. They usually listen to the child, provide guidance in an understanding way, and encourage independence. The impact of authoritative parenting usually tends to create children with high self-esteem, a positive image, and good skills in expressing emotions. Children learn how to communicate well from their parents so that it can be applied when interacting with others.
A study by Ibrar, M., et al. (2024) involving 280 university students in Islamabad, Pakistan, found that authoritative parenting was most effective in helping children develop emotional intelligence. Children raised with authoritative parenting showed higher emotional intelligence (r = .47, p = .01) due to open communication with parents that allowed them to express feelings and thoughts easily. These children also become more independent, learn to control their emotions, and are able to solve problems in a healthy manner (r = .17, p = .01). In contrast, parenting styles such as authoritarian, permissive, and neglect hinder the development of children's emotional intelligence, due to strict rules, lack of clear guidance, or insufficient attention from parents.
Parenting patterns are proven to have an influence on the development of children's emotional intelligence. The data shows that authoritative parenting patterns have the most positive influence on the formation of emotional intelligence, where parents provide attention, support, and clear boundaries to create a safe and supportive environment for children so that children will feel valued, heard, and understood, so they are helped in understanding, speaking, and managing their emotions well. Meanwhile, unbalanced parenting patterns such as permissive, neglectful, and authoritarian patterns can have a negative impact on children's emotional development. These parenting patterns have a negative impact on children, including low self-confidence and difficulty in recognizing and expressing emotions. Each parenting pattern has a different influence on how children recognize, understand and manage their own emotions and interact with the emotions of others. Therefore, parents should take more purposeful actions in supporting children's emotional growth so that children can grow into individuals with good emotional intelligence in the future.
References:
Ibrar, et al. (2024). Impact of Authoritative Parenting Style on Self-Esteem and Resilience Among Undergraduate Students. Journal of Asian Development Studies, 13(3), 851-860.
Colson, A., (2021). Parenting Styles and the Associates Health Outcomes in Children Tennessee Tech University