This is a personal story in my journey finding the "right" contraceptive method. Let me introduce myself briefly. I met my current partner in 2016. We were each other's first sexual intercourse. Up to mid 2020, we hadn't have any "successful" sex; it was always a painful experience for us both. In August 2020, as we finally went to the obgyn, I was diagnosed with Vaginismus grade 1. And after some time practicing dilation my own self, we finally could do it just around two months later.
I thought, the hardest part was finally over. How lacking in sex education were we, that we forgotten the most important thing: contraception. I was lucky that we were safe from sexual diseases or pregnancy. End of 2020 I started taking contraceptive pills, recommended by a doctor.
If you haven't read my previous articles, my partner and I live together, unmarried, and decided to be childfree since 2016. Just imagine how hard it is to find a doctor that you can trust, who is non judgmental and open minded to couple like us. Luckily, I live in Jakarta, where there are still possibilities finding those without-stigma doctors.
But that wasn't the only problem. Since I have Vaginismus, though the sex is already getting less painful, I was still so scared with any vaginal treatment/examination. Honestly, my first obgyn made me that scared, since she was bit rough and kinda not-understanding, thus I had trauma.
Life went on and suddenly it was almost a year since I used the pills. I was aware that it was not the safest contraception because it is hormonal and one should not use it for more than two years, yet I need a long-term contraception for being childfree. The copper IUD could be a solution, but well, then I had to get through all the trans vaginal USG and speculum process, which I thought I couldn't endure. Therefore, I was thinking of tubectomy, the non-hormonal and permanent contraception method.
The next step was finding the right doctor who is willing to do the surgery for an unmarried woman. It was actually easy finding this doctor in Jakarta. Yesterday, my partner and I went to see him. Just from the very beginning of consultation, he gave me a very reliable impression.
Our discussion went on like this: He doesn't really care if I was married or not. The only thing was, he was concerned, how if in the future I change my mind and want children. I wasn't denial about his thought, it may happen, who knows. He said that if later on, after I am 35 years old, and I still don't wanna be pregnant, then he will do the tubectomy. The other reason being that pregnancy risks are higher with 35 years old and above. Then, his suggestion was the copper IUD, which lasts up to five years. I thought, I was almost 29, if I used the IUD, five years later I would be 34/35, then I could have the tubectomy.
Honestly, before I talked to the doctor, the copper IUD was not at all in mind. But I explained him my Vaginismus condition, and to my surprise, he was really super understanding. He successfully convinced me that he would start easy, then see first if it was too painful for me then he would not continue.
Well, now I have this copper T tool in my womb. All those process went almost smoothly and bearable. I woke up today feeling a lot safer, mentally and physically. I am just grateful there is still access for women in my condition.