Sport Brings World Peace?

Dear Kompasianers, I am to sit for an IELTS exam on April 24th, 2010. Thus, these days I cannot post many writings nor make comments on your postings. Hope I could breeze through the test, okay? ;-)

Anyway, the following is one of my essays responding to a writing task given in an IELTS preparation book. Anyone willing to opine about my notions, simply do not hesitate.

WRITING TASK

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

You should write at least 250 words.

MY RESPONSE

[caption id="attachment_116636" align="alignright" width="261" caption="FIFA World Cup, one of popular sporting events"][/caption] When it comes to international sporting events, many people are of the same mind. They would opine that such occasions are an effective way to promote world peace and patriotism. Notwithstanding, it never occurred to me that the aforementioned notion is completely true. Instead, I would claim that international sporting events are useless to neither reduce international conflicts nor encourage positive patriotism.

During the event, people worldwide seem to engage in the euphoria of supporting their respective nations. Spectators enter the stadium, enjoy the game, and cheer once the athlete or team whom they support wins. Similarly, burning with love of their respective countries, athletes and teams endeavour to become victors. Furthermore, since public attention is diverted to this particular event, it seems that people to a certain degree neglect their duties. National leaders of two opposing countries even are inclined to forget about their bilateral tensions.

Regrettably, such a moment of amity does not endure forever. Rather, it merely lasts during a couple of weeks and, as the "party" is over, people return to face the stark reality of life. The military resumes its mission and international conflicts re-emerge thereafter. Thus, it is obvious that international sporting events only provide temporary, not perpetual, concord.

In addition, those events are not necessarily the means of expressing positive patriotism. For instance, the late president of theRepublicofIndonesia, Soekarno, once initiated a sporting event named GANEFO (Games of the New Emerging Forces) in which countries opposing the Western hegemony participated. It is obvious that this sporting event merely aimed at consolidating the coalition of Socialist countries, thereby detesting the West. Indeed, this is an unhealthy patriotic expression.

In conclusion, I repudiate the notion that international sporting events are necessary to reduce international tensions as well as to encourage positive patriotism. Amity and patriotism cannot come true by simply doing sport.

(310 words)

WHAT KOMPASIANERS CAN DO

Please answer any of these questions:

1. Do you think that my arguments are tenable enough?
2. Is there any grammatical error? (note: I wrote in British English, thus "sport" is preferable to "sports")
3. If you disagree with my notions, what would you say?
4. If you agree with my notions, is there any additional idea coming to your mind?
5. Regarding vocabulary, are words/phrases I wrote here formal enough?