Wednesday, 31st July 2024
I am sitting in my room and crying right now. I feel life is too hard for me but actually God will never give us problem that we can not solve. I am 22 year old and student in 7 semester. I am afraid of my future well maybe not only me but also all of the people in this world but it is still scary me away. However Crying once or twice a week is fine, isn't it?
Today, I just get an information that I can not take my international program because my parents need to pay a lot of thing recently. They told me that I can join with this program but they will struggle for it. I am their child I try to thing that it is okay to make my parents struggle more but honestly I can not do this. So I have to give up in my dream. It is so sad yet I know that everything is gonna be alright. God has brought me here to not be fail (I believe).
But what make me sadder is because my Stupidity. For me that is a small mistake but from this mistake give me a big effect of my life. When I was joining PMM program in one University in Indonesia I miss something. I didn't join with one of zoom meeting that I must join. So the sequences is I can't get lecturer in this semester for my thesis (dosbing) an I have to wait in the next semester. We can assume that I need to add one semester to graduate from my university.
Because of all of this problem, I tried to improve my skill. I try to write something in this website, look for job or intern that I can join (I have enrolled some but do not get email yet), and I will study a new language (Thai maybe). I know I made mistake an I have ruined myself but I promise I'll never give up.
I will do whatever I can, I will reach something one day. I will improve my skill, I will make myself more valuable. I wish one of the company that I enroll will accept me. Life is hard but let's try our best.
For future me, if you read this you must be know that you're wonderful. Thank you for never give up. Your smile is the most beautiful smile in this world so don't forget to smile.
Writing my diary by using English will improve my English skill, won't it?