“Hi I’m living in England looking for a chat friend from Indonesia or somewhere like that so that we can chat and share experiences of anything in life ... Happy days :)”
I was tickled by a recent discussion on Couchsurfing Jakarta, a platform for travellers to find an accommodation hosted by local people with no charge (https://www.couchsurfing.com/). A 50ish year old guy from a town in West England is looking for a chat buddy from far away Jakarta. A lot of questions spark in my mind – although I realise it is none of my business. Can that guy not find any friends nearby his area? Is he really lonely? Is there any hidden agenda of him? For instance, is he actually looking for an Indonesian partner?
Luckily, many of my Indonesian fellows do not have such negative thoughts as I do. In a few days, the discussion had received a good number of positive responses – in fact, all responses are very welcoming! Both male and female members of Couchsurfing Jakarta were willing to share their phone number. Some of them said that they fancied having a foreign chat mate; some other thought it would help them practice their English. I was so much impressed! I was thrilled to know that people in my country were very friendly.
But then another question popped up in my mind. Are we that friendly? Or are we just naive? Or, in a more extreme case, do we just favour people from certain races? What if that guy were not from England or not a white guy? Say, a 50-year-old guy from Borneo looking for a chat buddy from Jakarta. Would he receive the same (positive) responses? Would everyone be willing to share his or her phone number and start conversation with him?
Or was it just because that guy from England is from England (meaning: a white foreigner) so he received pleasant responses? Again, it might just be my disregarding opinion, but some other evidence may support my judgement.
I used to be an active Couchsurfing host in Jakarta and when I was doing a postgraduate study in Manchester, UK (2014 – 2015). Before 2014 I hosted at least one couchsurfer in a month in Jakarta. Back then, the “competition” for hosting a foreigner was not as tight as it is nowadays. As told by another Caucasian couchsurfer who came to Jakarta a few weeks ago, it took him a week or even more to respond to all invitations from hosts in Jakarta.
I found a totally different story from my Couchsurfing experience (as a host) in Manchester. It was not the hosts who compete to get a guest. In Manchester, it was the guests who found it difficult to find a place to crash.
I may assume that Indonesians are very friendly to foreigners. But are we also that welcoming to people from our own country? Or are we admiring a certain race (in this case, Caucasian) too much? A few months ago, a German friend of mine and his Indonesian colleague attempted to reserve a table in a restaurant in Jakarta. The Indonesian rang the restaurant, asking if there was still available seats. The answer was no, all tables were fully booked. A few minutes later, my German friend called the same number/restaurant and received a different answer!
Some of us may not realise that admiration to a certain race could lead to another term of racism. Things work in a binary system. When we glorify a particular race, we discriminate the others. Over-admiration of certain races is the suppresion towards others. It is understood that in many parts of Indonesia, white people are seen as an image of ideal beauty. On the street, for instance, when some locals meet a foreigner they stop him/her and ask for a picture. The features (white skin, blonde or non-black hair and non-black eyes) greatly attract Indonesians. I wonder if that also applies the other way around – if it does, I doubt it would be as massive as it is here.
In general, it is not uncommon that some people find people from different races more appealing. It could be the physical features of the other races that attract them, or simply they are interested in the culture. It gives additional pride if a local here could have a bule (a popular term for foreigners) company while hanging around a shopping mall or in public places.
I would be very happy if the intention of many hosts in Jakarta through Couchsurfing platform is purely an act of friendliness towards humans of any races. Those massive invitations or responses to host people should be addressed to everyone without any discrimination (unless the potential guests have received many negative references from the previous hosts/guests and we have a right to reject).