I'm trying to make everyone around me happy. That was not a mistake but something that had a side effect later in my life and my future even my past. I can see now even how hard I'm trying to be a hero for everyone, i found a reality that i have get back to my own path. I have to be a hero for myself.
I know that numbers are confusing, but this is how we learn.
I learn to write every number, started from two, three, eleven twelve, etc.. I write almost every word, words and sentences in diaries like a blogging my opinion and telling the story of my daily life. It wasn't a mistake. Seems i am happy with that in otherwise.
Helping my cousins so they can continued their study, helping my brother through their own problems, my sister, my nephew, my friends and all the peoples around me. That's gives me some kind of pleasures actually. But, i still have something missing in my heart. I couldn't find it.
Yet, A dreams woke me up. It shows me more memory flash.
Numbers. The flash of the dream, remind me that i perhaps know and wrote every numbers in my whole life except number 1 (one).
Yes, I'm trying to make everyone happy, but myself.
I've make every decision to make sure that everyone will happy.
Just like every young people however, i have to find my own self. My identity. And that dream teach me to write number one. That meant that number is the missing piece in my life, my heart, myself.
I have to wrote the number one, shows me that so long, so far i have always began from the number two. Peoples first, then i forgot my own goal.
I have to be number one for myself in priority at least. I have to be who i am.