A Monster

As a person who always overthinking about anythings in the world. I'm totally really confuse if they (the things that I think) come in my mind, I was thinking "How to stop it?' or "How to handle it?" I frequently can't handle and stop them. I though there is a 'monster' who live and life in me, especially in my head. It heards like impossible, but this is what I feel. A monster in my head makes me feel sorrowful and miserable. Deafening!

They are hate you!

They are gonna leave you!

He hates you!

He loves someone else!

You can't do it!

You are stupid!            

You are loser!

You are worse! 

You can't learn it!

Everyone hates you!

Or

Am I worth it?

Am I can be with him?

Am I can be kind?

Am I evil?

Then

How if they don't love me?

How if he cheating on me?

How if they betray on me?

How if he loves someone else?

How if he leaves me?

How if he love my clost friend?

And

Another

How

If

I don't know how many monsters in my head. It just one? Ten? A hundred? Or millions? They're live in me peacefully, playing and ruin my life. I'm still finding how to kill them, or, if I can't to kill them, at least I can control them, and make them as my friends (slaves). I'm not give them permission to ruin my life (again), I'll control them to be the better ways.

I'm the leader of my life!

I'm not a monster's slave!

They're can not control me!

I'm control them!

Alur Ceria

28 August 2023