But what if I want to call him and talk aboutit?
What are you going to say? You cannot get someone back just by reigniting their guilt. I learned it from a relationship coach that said that in the beginning of the breakup period, your ex would try to hold on into his decision that the breakup is right. The more you push him with guilt, telling him that you love him and how great you can be together; the more he will pull himself out of you.
He and you need some space right now. If you are ever talking to him, the best thing could ever happen after you are less emotional. So both of you could see each other in a more positive light. So take some space and do anything you would do if you are the happiest single person in the world. This wisdom too, comes from a relationship guru – so you might want to take this advice seriously. The more you are becoming yourself, the happier you are and the more attractive you are. Not only to your ex but also to the best people that is yet to come.
Again, you will want someone that is fully in love with you. Guilt will not bring your ex back for a long time. He might just comfort you for a short time, but that is, of course, not what you want.
Moving on?
Yes, your breakup is real. So eventually you have to move on. But let’s first define what moving on is.
Many of us want to find love real soon to replace what we lost. And even more, to escape the feeling of loneliness, especially when the sun starts to shift its place with the moon and stars. I feel that too, even until months afterwards. But rushing into finding someone new hurts us more, does not it? You won’t feel satisfied with anyone because you keep comparing the new one with the ex. And you are unconsciously choosing someone who has similar traits with the old ones – the one who you left or left us. So let’s define moving on as living your life and giving a chance to yourself to love yourself and being happy just to be with you.
Isn’t it been a long time since you are single? Give a gentle pat to your shoulder and a kiss to yourself in a mirror. And start to meet your old friends, the ones who've always been there for you. And let’s start laughing about how pathetic your old love life is. This, is an important step to heal yourself.
Friends – they are so distance to us when we were in an exclusive relationship. I start going out with them too and it was so fun because most of us are singles too (that’s why we have time to meet each other, right!). As a group, we flirt with random people, have a couple dozen of beers and wines and have a joke to ourselves. Friends and yourself – are the best destination to move on to.
Believe me, you do not want to be stuck in a new relationship too fast after going through a hard break up from someone really love. There is a big hole in your heart and you know that it is going to take some time before someone could really fill the gap. And you also need to clear your mind and heart – to know what you really need and your next purpose.
I believe most of you reading these paragraphs are not in the stage of searching for someone to have fun with anymore. Most of us are looking for a real partner in life. And going through another heart break just because we are too in rush looking for someone to fill the gap would just waste our time and heart, isn’t it? So be in a relationship when you are really ready to be in a committed one. You know it yourself when you are really ready. And it is going to take a while. So again, breathe.
And have fun.
