And here I am, in the border of life and death, groveling a dream about something I wish I had and barking the past that haunted me every time dark comes. I will be damned if I am going to lie about that, a bittersweet of course, but perhaps it is the only way to embrace the past and the dream to define something we called crawl to survive. It is impossible but nothing wrong to try something impossible and as long as no one get hurt…
No one live alone in this world in the perspective of environment, there always other people around, neighbors, family and friends. As I have, some of them are very dearest to me, they always stand in my side whenever I need them and I thanks for that. But, in some very unique circumstances, there will be a time and place you’re alone and need to be alone, desperation, failing, sorrow and sadness of the past. In that case, I don’t have other choice but rely on myself and what do I have inside me to move on. I don’t want stay in a place like that, because I’ll get nothing for sure but pain and the dearest out there is waiting for me as a part of the existence. I don’t need to be other people, just become myself to find my own path. Even though that way is very different with others, sounds ridiculous and impossiblebut I don’t have a time to worry about because that’s me and I am alone in here…well, it may look pity with my shapeless, but I will be laugh to the people out here who has nothing to do in their stagnation, idiot fool…hehehe
Suppose I make a mistake with my own way, let it be, and let the mistake be a better lesson for me to face the challenge of the unknown end future. None the part of this life is gone waste, as long as I keep going forward even though I had to crawl, well, that’s fine with me…
10 December 2013, CocoonA5, Komunitas Halaman Rawa.
